3 in 3, Monday Edition

Posted on January 21st, 2013 by Fingers Malloy

I’m just doing a 3 in 3 podcast Mondays on FTR Radio.

Today:

Joe Biden names himself President.

Twitter users hear an F-bomb during the AFC Championship game.

Sesame Street rocks!

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Joe Biden’s Back in Chains Blues

Posted on August 15th, 2012 by Fingers Malloy

Tuesday, The Snark Factor debuted Joe Biden’s new faux hit song, “The Back in Chains Blues.” The song was inspired by remarks he made early that afternoon.

12 bar blues music from  http://www.guitarjamz.com/blues_domination/.

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Snark Factor 254 with Jedediah Bila

Posted on August 15th, 2012 by Fingers Malloy

Jedediah Bila stopped by the radio hootenanny to discuss what she like in a man–and what some women like in their VP candidate.

The Snark Factor also debuted VP Joe Biden’s new faux hit song, “The Back in Chains Blues.”

Amy Miller and Thomas LaDuke are The Snark Factor Players.

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Answer Key! Who Said It–Barack Obama, Dan Quayle Or Sarah Palin?

Posted on November 19th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy

Here we go!

1) “Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel’s.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

2) “I’ve now been in 57 states — I think one left to go.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

3) “On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes — and I see many of them in the audience here today.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

4) “What they’ll say is, ‘Well it costs too much money,’ but you know what? It would cost, about… It — it — it would cost about the same as what we would spend… It… Over the course of 10 years it would cost what it would costs us… (nervous laugh) All right. Okay. We’re going to… It… It would cost us about the same as it would cost for about — hold on one second. I can’t hear myself. But I’m glad you’re fired up, though. I’m glad.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

5) “The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

6) “I bowled a 129. It’s like – it was like the Special Olympics, or something.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

7) “Of the many responsibilities granted to a president by our Constitution, few are more serious or more consequential than selecting a Supreme Court justice. The members of our highest court are granted life tenure, often serving long after the presidents who appointed them. And they are charged with the vital task of applying principles put to paper more than 20 centuries ago to some of the most difficult questions of our time.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

8)  “Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking up a hospital bed, it costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave them treatment early and they got some treatment, and a, a breathalyzer, or inhalator, not a breathalyzer. I haven’t had much sleep in the last 48 hours.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

9) “It was … interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There’s a lot of — I don’t know what the term is in Austrian — wheeling and dealing…”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

10) “I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

So yes, all but one of these gems came from President Obama. Before I start hearing from libs about how stupid Sarah Palin is, I remind you that you can get all of your Sarah Palin bashing at a number places, including but not limited to:

The Huffington Post
The Daily Kos
MoveOn.org
Media Matters
Comedy Central
ABC News
NBC News
CBS News
MSNBC
CNN
The New York Times
The Washington Post
The Los Angeles Times
Saturday Night Live
The View
Sesame Street
Dora the Explorer
iCarly

I could go on but you get the point. In the end, all politicians say stupid things. The difference is that if you are lucky enough to be a democrat and say something dumb, you get a free pass (see Joe Biden).

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go brush up on my Austrian…

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Democrats Now Blame Their Failures On Brett Favre’s Broken Ankle

Posted on October 26th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy

Election season took a strange turn on Tuesday when Democrats across the country turned their focus away from Republicans–and shifted blame for everything that has gone wrong over the previous two years towards Minnesota Vikings Quarterback Brett Favre’s broken ankle.

In an internal DNC memo that was obtained by Fingersmalloy.com through a significant bribe thrown at Susan Estrich, the Democrats’ new strategy is revealed:

We can’t continue to attack Republicans over the bad economy. That strategy is as old as a premise for a Joy Behar comedy bit.

We need to find a new scapegoat–and that scapegoat needs to be Favre’s ankle. I bet it sent sexy text messages to Snooki, let’s use that in the Reid-Angle race.

It is no coincidence that once this memo was posted on Wikileaks, the attacks on Favre’s ankle came fast and furious.

At a campaign rally in Nevada five minutes ago, Senator Harry Reid said:

Brett Favre’s ankle is responsible for all of the problems in this country–from global warming to the Teapot Dome scandal.

I don’t care that Favre’s ankle is light-skinned and does not use a Negro dialect, unless it wanted to have one. Favre’s ankle needs to be stopped.

Sixty seconds later in Tennessee, Vice President Joe Biden had this to say about Favre’s ankle:

When the stock market crashed in 1929, Brett Favre’s ankle got on the television and didn’t just talk about the, you know, the princes of greed. He said, ‘Look, here’s what happened.’

Brett Favre’s ankle oversimplified things then and it has no idea how to pull us out of this quagmire.

And I am a deeper thinker than Sarah Palin.

It’s too soon to tell how this new campaign strategy will effect Election Day 2010. I will continue to follow this story until I need a nap.

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Who Said It–Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson or Joe Biden? Answer Key!

Posted on October 9th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy

Well the first installment of Who Said It was a tremendous success. There will be more quizzes in the weeks to come–so check Fingersmalloy.com often!

The correct answers are highlighted. Let’s see how well you did!

1) “Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, 14% of people know that.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

2) “Do you know the Web site number? I should have it in front of me and I don’t. I’m actually embarrassed.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

3) “A guy at work bought a car out of the paper. Ten years later, Bam! Herpes.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

4) “His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

5) “‘To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

6) “What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put ‘em in a tub and clean myself with them? That’s what soap is for.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

7) “I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

8)  “You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent… I’m not joking.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

UPDATE!!! I have been Farked! Thanks to Fark.com for the link love!!!

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Who Said It–Peter Griffin, Homer Simpson Or Joe Biden?

Posted on October 8th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy

It is time for the new game that is sweeping the country–Who Said It?

The rules are simple. I will give you a quote and you have to guess which great American said it. Your three choices are Family Guy star Peter Griffin, The Simpson’s dad Homer Simpson or Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden.

Here we go!

1) “Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, 14% of people know that.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

2) “Do you know the Web site number? I should have it in front of me and I don’t. I’m actually embarrassed.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

3) “A guy at work bought a car out of the paper. Ten years later, Bam! Herpes.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

4) “His mom lived in Long Island for ten years or so. God rest her soul. And- although, she’s- wait- your mom’s still- your mom’s still alive. Your dad passed. God bless her soul.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

5) “‘To Start Press Any Key’. Where’s the ANY key?”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

6) “What am I supposed to do with all my great ideas? Put ‘em in a tub and clean myself with them? That’s what soap is for.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

7) “I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

8)  “You cannot go to a 7-11 or a Dunkin’ Donuts unless you have a slight Indian accent… I’m not joking.”

A. Peter Griffin
B. Homer Simpson
C. Joe Biden

Answers to this quiz will be posted tomorrow…

Thanks to Al’s Ramblings for the link love!

UPDATE!!! Answers to this quiz can be found here!

I have been Farked! Thanks to Fark.com for the link love!!!

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Snarky Six. Vice President Biden’s Unknown Duties

Posted on February 26th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy

A minor stink was raised yesterday after Joe was caught being Joe. Here is C-SPAN’s coverage of the Vice President’s announcement that he doesn’t do anything. It was the only news to come out of the Health Care Summit.

To celebrate Joe being Joe, The Snark Factor will now reveal the 6 duties of the Vice President that the general public does not know. You can thank me later.

1. He secretly replaces all the White House coffee with Folgers Crystals.

2. V.P. Biden counts Michelle Obama’s reps during her arm curl workouts.

3. Joe Biden is Batman

4. The V.P. is responsible for all prank phone calls to John McCain. Senator McCain still falls for the “Prince Albert in a Can” trick.

5. He rubs Rahm Emanuel’s belly when he gets “cranky.”

6. Biden performs dramatic readings of Meghan McCain’s tweets at the State Department.

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