Snark Factor 123 With Gina Loudon And Zach Freeman

Posted on November 30th, 2011 by Fingers Malloy

Gina Loudon of The Dr. Gina Show stopped by to chat about Duke’s weird Ron and Nancy Reagan dating policy, Herman Cain and Sarah Palin.

Zach Freeman, editor of TheCollegeConservative.com joined us in the second half hour to talk about his new website.

Amy Miller and Thomas LaDuke were The Snark Factor Players.

Listen to The Snark Factor live, every weeknight at 10pm Eastern only on FTR Radio.

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TuckerGate–The Daily Caller Is Making Some Palinistas Sound Like Liberals

Posted on September 19th, 2011 by Fingers Malloy

So this is delicious. In a complete kill the messenger moment, the Twitter has been blowing up over a Daily Caller piece regarding disgusting comments that Mike Tyson made about Sarah Palin. To read Tyson’s comments, check out Jeff Poor’s column here.

This got many Palinistas hysterical. But the target of their hysterical, liberal like over- reaction wasn’t the bat shit crazy Mike Tyson–no it was The Daily Caller. Why the Daily Caller? For printing his comments.

That’s right. New memo to everyone that writes stuff on the internets–you can not report anything that is said about Sarah Palin without a Palinista signing off on it…ever! If you do write about Palin without approval, it can only be a fluff column–you know, stories that her mere presence in a room can cure Scurvy and prevent the gum disease Gingivitis (you get the idea).

I could post links to several blog posts by several Palinistas who are outraged by The Daily Caller, but I am still trying to recover from my massive eye-roll (I will not even get into their tweets).

But of all the blog posts I have seen regarding TuckerGate, the worst offender was Greta Van Susteran. Her blog post was a peach. This is just the first paragraph:

I really don’t understand my friend Tucker Carlson.  He owns the website The Daily Caller and it currently has on its front page the most vile story — referring to a sex act with Governor Sarah Palin as a “womb shifter.” It is even the headline. Do you know what that means?  Figure it out  It is really vile.  It is not just smut…this is violence against women.

Talk about winning the 2011 Hyper-Sensitive Award for Hyper-Sensitiveness (I am a wordsmith).

Greta, you sound like a liberal. The faux-outrage here is sickening. You want to play the over the top outrage game? Okay, I can play too.

Greta, I like you. I really do. But you have a career in broadcasting based on your work as a legal analyst for CNN during the O.J. Simpson trial. (For those of you too young to remember the original O.J. Simpson trial, CNN covered it ad nauseum. It turned a double murder trial into a game, picking daily winners and losers. Greta, you remember that right?)

You want to talk about violence against women? Someone (O.J.) brutally murdered Nicole Brown Simpson by repeatedly stabbing her to death. I could go further into the details, but writing about such events would make me a smut peddler–and would condone violence against women…or something.

CNN sensationalized a brutal double murder. They did so because they wanted more viewers. They were ratings whores.

You profited from a double murder based on CNN’s wall to wall, almost cartoonish coverage of that trial.

You got a career from that…own it.

And now you are outraged by a website that printed (but didn’t glorify) comments made by a world famous athlete? Hypocrisy much?

For someone like Greta Van Susteran to criticize the Daily Caller for sensationalizing a story when she has made a career doing the very same thing is gross. If it were not for shows like Greta’s, Casey Anthony would not be a household name.

There. My liberal like, hyper-sensitive moment is over.

So we were all just supposed to ignore the fact that a former heavyweight champion of the world made ugly comments about Sarah Palin? Really?

Did we ignore Wanda Sykes when she said of Rush Limbaugh–”I hope his kidneys fail”?

Did we ignore a British film company when it made a mockumentary about the fictional assassination of President George W. Bush?

I can go on and on with examples of ugliness spewed at conservatives that we didn’t ignore, but I would need a nap.

The Daily Caller did nothing wrong.

Unreal.

Oh, and P.S.

Greta. If he would agree to it, you would have Mike Tyson on tonight to discuss his disgusting comments. But I suppose that’s okay, because it’s on Fox News.

 

 

 

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Answer Key! Who Said It–Barack Obama, Dan Quayle Or Sarah Palin?

Posted on November 19th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy

Here we go!

1) “Let me be absolutely clear. Israel is a strong friend of Israel’s.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

2) “I’ve now been in 57 states — I think one left to go.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

3) “On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes — and I see many of them in the audience here today.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

4) “What they’ll say is, ‘Well it costs too much money,’ but you know what? It would cost, about… It — it — it would cost about the same as what we would spend… It… Over the course of 10 years it would cost what it would costs us… (nervous laugh) All right. Okay. We’re going to… It… It would cost us about the same as it would cost for about — hold on one second. I can’t hear myself. But I’m glad you’re fired up, though. I’m glad.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

5) “The reforms we seek would bring greater competition, choice, savings and inefficiencies to our health care system.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

6) “I bowled a 129. It’s like – it was like the Special Olympics, or something.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

7) “Of the many responsibilities granted to a president by our Constitution, few are more serious or more consequential than selecting a Supreme Court justice. The members of our highest court are granted life tenure, often serving long after the presidents who appointed them. And they are charged with the vital task of applying principles put to paper more than 20 centuries ago to some of the most difficult questions of our time.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

8)  “Everybody knows that it makes no sense that you send a kid to the emergency room for a treatable illness like asthma, they end up taking up a hospital bed, it costs, when, if you, they just gave, you gave them treatment early and they got some treatment, and a, a breathalyzer, or inhalator, not a breathalyzer. I haven’t had much sleep in the last 48 hours.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

9) “It was … interesting to see that political interaction in Europe is not that different from the United States Senate. There’s a lot of — I don’t know what the term is in Austrian — wheeling and dealing…”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

10) “I have made good judgments in the past. I have made good judgments in the future.”

A. Barack Obama
B. Dan Quayle
C. Sarah Palin

So yes, all but one of these gems came from President Obama. Before I start hearing from libs about how stupid Sarah Palin is, I remind you that you can get all of your Sarah Palin bashing at a number places, including but not limited to:

The Huffington Post
The Daily Kos
MoveOn.org
Media Matters
Comedy Central
ABC News
NBC News
CBS News
MSNBC
CNN
The New York Times
The Washington Post
The Los Angeles Times
Saturday Night Live
The View
Sesame Street
Dora the Explorer
iCarly

I could go on but you get the point. In the end, all politicians say stupid things. The difference is that if you are lucky enough to be a democrat and say something dumb, you get a free pass (see Joe Biden).

Now if you will excuse me, I need to go brush up on my Austrian…

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Eugene Is A Hate Free Zone, But They Hope Palin Chokes

Posted on April 26th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy


Former Alaska Governor Sarah Palin gave a speech in Eugene, Oregon Friday. A protester outside that event hopes she chokes.

Awe, how sweet. This was what that whole “hopey changey” thing is all about.

That peace and love liberal protester should write Hallmark cards. Oh wait, Hallmark is an evil corporation that tries to profit from (insert liberal tripe about corporate America here).

Wait, I thought the tea party people are the merchants of hate? I thought the right had a “hate monopoly.”

Aren’t  liberals the open minded, tolerant folks?

Note to liberals: Many of YOU are driven by hate, it sustains you. It’s Okay, hate is a human emotion. Just stop acting like you are above all that political hate yo…

H/T for photo, Jeff Donels

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Snark Factor Poll- Take Me to Your Leader

Posted on March 5th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy
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Snark Factor Poll- Who is Beerworthy?

Posted on March 3rd, 2010 by Fingers Malloy

This just in! President Obama likes to drink and smoke. Finally, something we can agree on. So today I pose this question:

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Eight Shocking Secrets in Obamacare Bill Revealed

Posted on February 25th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy

There are two things I am sure you know:

1. The Health Care Summit is today.

2. Your inside source to the Health Care Summit is Fingersmalloy.com

I have a copy of the real bill. How did I get a copy? I would love to tell you, but quite honestly I am not proud of what I had to do to get my hands on the “real” bill. Next time you see me, you owe me a beer.

Here are the eight most shocking things about Obamacare. Why eight? Because if it were ten I would be ripping off David Letterman.

1. The Food and Drug Administration will mandate that all Stuckey’s restaurants replace butter with I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

2. The Federal Government will take over Stuckey’s restaurants, because they are too big to fail.

3. The Obama Administration will demand Denny’s restaurants recall every serving of Moons Over My Hammy served between 2006-2010.

4. The head of the Food and Drug Administration will warn Americans to “Not eat at Denny’s.”

5. Congress will call on the President of Denny’s to testify in front of the House, to try and defend Denny’s serving bad food to drunks at 2AM all across the United States.

6. Declare Vice President Joe Biden “Batman.”

7. Outlaw Sarah Palin.

8. Create a 2800 page health care bill that no American will read and then make everyone believe Bill Gates will pay for it all.

There you have it, the inside scoop on health care. You owe me a beer.

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New Fast Fingers Poll

Posted on February 11th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy
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Palmgate Day 6. When Will The Madness End Governor Palin?

Posted on February 11th, 2010 by Fingers Malloy

Day 6 of Palmgate and unrest has spread to Iran. Thousands of protesters rushed into the streets of Tehran to demonstrate, as frustration mounts over the continuing mystery as to what exactly Sarah Palin had written on her hand during her teabagger speech on Saturday.

It is no coincidence that this protest and Iran declaring itself a nuclear state was announced on Sarah Palin’s birthday. What are you hiding Governor Palin? When will the madness stop? What was on your hand?*

*I get all of my news from Keith Olbermann

Here is a video of the real protest. While liberals are focused on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” and Obamacare the Iranians are staying busy.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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25 Things Random Things About Me, Nancy Pelosi.

Posted on September 26th, 2009 by Fingers Malloy

(This is an old post from back in February. It’s the weekend, so I thought I would bring her back. Enjoy.)

Fingersmalloy.com  is a hard hitting, fact finding, truth spilling machine. It is not some kind of gossip rag like Us Weekly or the New York Times. For example, we passed on the New York Times story that reported Governor Palin’s son Trigg is actually a robot created by Exxon Mobil.

However, sometimes we like to take a day to get away from politics as usual. As many of you who have a Facebook or MySpace account know, 25 Random Things About Me is sweeping the world. Actually it can get to be pretty annoying. Every day, millions of people are tagged to look at meaningless facts about their friends and neighbors.

Today we were given a 25 Random Things About Me authored by the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. The person who gave us this letter wanted to remain anonymous. From now on, he or she will be referred to as Deep Throat 2, the Wrath of Kahn. We will post it below, and hope that you learn something about our Madam Speaker.

25 Random Things About Me – Nancy Pelosi

1. I am Speaker of the House.
2. I once asked George W. Bush “boxers or briefs?”
3. I count Harry Reids when I can’t sleep at night.
4. I think abortion should be legal up to the 53rd trimester.
5. I shot a man in the Reno, just to watch him die.
6. I get 500 million and 500 thousand mixed up.
7. I spend 500 million like it’s 500 thousand.
8. I love Aquanet! (Editor’s note, this was reported earlier in a 1 Hour Martinizing exclusive.)
9. My favorite band is Dexy’s Midnight Runner.
10. I’m watching you.
11. Yes you.
12. For years I thought Majority Whip was a dessert topping.
13. Barack Obama is my new BFF and he is like, TOTALLY a cutie.
14. I put orange marmalade on everything.
15. I brake for bingo.
16. I once played 7 minutes in heaven with Ted Kennedy.
17. I once vomited after 7 minutes in heaven with Ted Kennedy.
18. OMG! Bill Clinton just walked into my office and offered to show me his stimulus package.
19. I live in San Francisco; there is nothing funny about that.
20. I own a time share in Florida with Rush Limbaugh (shh, don’t tell anyone.)
21. I own a Hummer H3, but to make up for it I hug a tree daily.
22. For six years I had a secret crush on Dick Cheney.
23. I have 1 tattoo. It is a tramp stamp of Tip O’Neill’s face.
24. I call my husband Stedman just to piss him off.
25. I get all of my news from Fingersmalloy.com

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