WikiLeaks has struck again. Two days ago, the website released 250,000 US cables illegally obtained by Australian hippie hacker Julian Assange. The cables contained correspondence between U.S. diplomats that contained sensitive information.

Here are some juicy details about the WikiLeaks document dump from Yahoo News:

Allegations from the 250,000 cables include that Iran’s supreme leader has cancer and will die “within months” and that Saudi King Abdullah urged the US to attack Iran and “cut off the head of the snake” over its nuclear program.

The Snark Factor has gone over all 250,000 cables for you, our faithful readers. I personally have read 140,000 cables. During that time, I consumed 3 Five Hour Energy shots, 7 pots of coffee and enough crystal meth to kill four mules.

But it was worth it. I have uncovered new information from WikiLinks about secrets that the United States government has tried to hide for decades. Prepare to be shocked.

1. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter was invented by the CIA as a mind control chemical agent to make Americans like Ryan Seacrest.
2. Meghan McCain is a FemBot built by the National Organization for Women to make real blondes “look smarter” when compaired to the dim-witted McCain.
3. President Barack Obama was briefly the lead singer of the left-wing, post-punk British rock group Scritti Politti.
4. Joy Behar kidnapped the Lindbergh baby, dumped a fake baby body to fool police into thinking he was dead–and raised the boy as her own. She renamed the lad ”Rob Reiner.”
5. George Soros secretly founded Halliburton Corporation with the help of Che Guevara and Don Knotts in 1957.
6. Every bridge in the United States is secretly owned by Ross Perot and Ron Paul. Under every bridge you can find a pot of gold.
7. Vice President Joe Biden is Snookie’s father. 
8. Governor Sarah Palin wrote the song Who Let the Dogs Out?
9. Kathy Griffin is a comedian.
10. Nancy Grace can comfortably house a family of four in her nostrils.

 I will continue to read these documents until my head falls off…

Yesterday, Joy Behar called Nevada Republican Senatorial candidate Sharon Angle a “bitch” who is “going to hell.”

All this because Angle has the nerve to oppose Harry Reid.

Well Angle responded to this idiocy by sending Behar flowers–with a note thanking Joy for having helped Sharon raise over $100,000 in campaign donations since Behar’s rant.

This did not set well with The View’s village idiot. This was her response:

Did you notice the money quote?

I’d like to point out that those flowers were picked by illegal immigrants–and they aren’t voting for you bitch!

Wow. Where to begin? I will ignore her racist statement (it’s debatable) about flower picking illegal immigrants and focus on the second part of her stupid statement:

…and they aren’t voting for you bitch!

I don’t know about the Bronx, but in much of the United States it is illegal for illegals to vote. (I know, try and contain your eye-roll)

So you ARE right Joy, they will not be voting for Angle. (although thanks to ACORN leftovers I’m sure many will vote for Reid, whether they want to or not)

And Joy is pissed off because Angle is destroying people?

How is Angle destroying people? By running a Senatorial campaign?

I’m confused. Angle is making speeches and running ads–speeches and ads can destroy people?

How? With words?

We have a lot of very sensitive humanoids out there if they can be destroyed by the words of Sharon Angle. If Joy is right and people are being destroyed by campaign rhetoric, is there any hope left for humanity??? (other than Barack Obama)

Behar finished her soap box rant by saying that she is offended when people who work for a living are made to look like villains.

Really Joy?

Really???

What do you think of those hard working tea party folks Joy? Do you celebrate their right to protest trillions of dollars being wasted in Washington? Or are they villains?

Behar doesn’t care about illegals–Joy doesn’t care about working people–she only cares about looking like she cares about illegals and working people.

And when other human beings listen to the words that exit Joy Behar’s face they all end up slightly dumber for the experience…

The Snark Factor has busted the voting booth wide open and now has shocking evidence that may be too scandalous for young eyes to see.

It was reported on the Drudge Report that First Lady Michelle Obama was campaigning for Democrats inside a polling station, which is a violation of election law.

From Drudge:

First lady Michelle Obama appears to have violated Illinois law — when she engaged in political discussion at a polling place!

The drama began after Mrs. Obama stopped off at the Martin Luther King Center on the south side of Chicago to cast an early vote.

After finishing at the machine, Obama went back to the desk and handed in her voting key.

She let voters including electrician Dennis Campbell, 56, take some photos.

“She was telling me how important it was to vote to keep her husband’s agenda going,” Campbell said.

According to a pool reporter from the CHICAGO SUN-TIMES at the scene, the conversation took place INSIDE the voting center, not far from the booths.

Illinois state law — Sec. 17-29 (a) – states: “No judge of election, pollwatcher, or other person shall, at any primary or election, do any electioneering or soliciting of votes or engage in any political discussion within any polling place [or] within 100 feet of any polling place.”

After doing some digging, it turns out that she was not talking about President Obama’s political agenda–but something much more sinister.

President Obama and his wife Michelle used his position as President of the United States to start their own Amway business. They set a goal to be Amway’s number one sales team by the end of 2011.

I contacted White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs and confronted him with my Amway accusations. I got a tersely worded response via email that said the following:

Holy sh*t! How did you find out about this? Stop digging for the truth Malloy. You may not like what you see!

-Gibby

As you know, The Snark Factor doesn’t scare easily. We are a fact finding, truth seeking machine. I contacted more Washington insiders and was shocked to uncover the whole seedy truth.

When I asked former Secretary of State Henry Kissinger if the Obamas had ever tried to sell him any Amway products, he became very irritated.

They always want me to buy something. They push the Amway sports drink on me all the time. I keep telling them I am almost ninety years old. Why the hell would a ninety year old man need sports drink? At my age I don’t even buy green bananas.

I took this a step further and wanted to know if Hollywood has been taken advantage of by the Obamas’ risky Amway scheme.

Joy Behar is thrilled that the Obamas are selling Amway. She sent me this email in response to some of my questions–and included before and after pictures.

Listen sweetie, as a brilliant political pundit/comedian I have to look my best for the TV. My physical appearance was always coming up short and I looked much older than I am. (I graduated high school with Henry Kissinger)

But all of a sudden, here comes Michelle with Amway beauty products. Michelle Obama is the fountain of youth. Amway is a miracle. Look at a current picture of me versus how I looked before Amway.

After Amway

Before Amway

*Warning, all quotes and entire story may be fiction. At least I admit it, this isn’t the New York Times…

There is a story in Monday’s New York Post speculating that CNN is trying to prepare for the possibility that Larry King may retire when his contract expires in 18 months. The prospect of King leaving his nightly talk show is quite real. The challenge for CNN is to find a replacement for Larry that will not alienate his loyal viewership of 114 people. After all, the new host needs viewers too.

The Post speculates on a few possible candidates that may replace King. Here is The Snark Factor’s analysis of each potential candidate.

Joy Behar- Liked by many liberals, mostly because she is ill-informed and lacks any analytical skills. She’s not very funny. Joy Behar is to comedy what Kathy Griffin is to comedy. The combination of her lack of talent and unwatchability (yes I made that word up) makes her a front-runner to replace King and a perfect fit at CNN.

Katie Couric- She’s still spunky. Couric has actually interviewed someone all by herself. Working for CBS, Katie has proven that she has no problem being affiliated with a network that resembles the Titanic. CNN should look long and hard at Ms.Couric.

Ryan Seacrest- Plain Yogurt. But does anyone do plain yogurt better than Ryan Seacrest? He is inoffensive. But he comes with a hefty price tag. Can CNN afford to pay Ryan Seacrest Seacrest money in the hope that he can continue CNN’s dominance over MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow and Billy Mays infomercials? Pass…

The challenge for CNN is to find someone that will bring the same energy and excitement to the job that Larry King has brought all these many years. There is only one individual that can bring the same kind of electricity to CNN as King, and that’s the corpse of Barry Goldwater….