Castro Resigns Party Post to Run for President of the United States–Primary Challenge Obama from his Right

Posted on April 19th, 2011 by Fingers Malloy

This originally appeared at NewsReal Blog.

Breaking news out of Cuba on Tuesday as former Cuban President Fidel Castro resigned from his post as first secretary in the Central Committee of the Communist Party. The move was made after a series of reforms had been passed by the Communist Party Congress that introduced minor free market reforms to the island nation’s economy. Among the reforms passed were term limits for “elected” officials and state job cuts.

From Google News:

Fidel Castro confirmed his exit from the Communist Party leadership on Tuesday, ceding power to his brother Raul as delegates prepare to vote on changes that could bring term limits to key posts.

The move came after the sixth Communist Party Congress approved a flurry of measures on Monday aimed at keeping Cuba’s centrally planned economy from collapse but without any broad embrace of market-oriented change.

…Reforms include the eventual trimming of a million state jobs and the decentralization of the agricultural sector.

In a move that has shocked party loyalists inside Cuba, rumors run rampant that Castro has sent people to Iowa to test the waters for a Fidel in 2012 presidential run. I talked to a senior Castro adviser, James Carville, who expressed hope that Castro could challenge President Obama in next year’s election.

Obama is weak and has moved too far to the left. He is destroying the Democratic Party that was once led by the great Jimmy Carter. He’s hiring too many people and expanding government too much. We believe we can, at the very least, pull Mr. Obama to the right a little bit.

Let’s talk about term limits in this campaign. Let’s talk about cutting state workers off the payrolls. How about eliminating farm subsidies? I mean, I love socialism as much as the next guy but even I see that the Obama administration has gone too far.

I could not reach anyone at the White House for comment. I did run into film director Michael Moore outside a Denny’s in Flint, Michigan. He was stunned that Castro would challenge Obama. Commenting on Castro’s 2012 chances, Moore said:

This is silly. How can he say the United States needs to cut government jobs? That’s easy for him to say. Cuba has a fantastic infrastructure. Their schools are top notch. They have the best health care in the world. For crying out loud they are Cuba! They set the standard for all of us.

The United States needs to continue President Obama’s policies. We need more federal workers. We need more shovel ready jobs. It should be a fundamental right of every American to have access to Cuban style health care. Just when we are getting close to becoming a paradise like Cuba, Castro wants to ruin it. I guess this is his revenge for the Bay of Pigs. Got any Tums?

Wait…he wasn’t born in this country was he?

When I brought up Castro’s citizenship, Carville laughed and stated for the record:

What is Michael Moore a birther? Fidel was born in San Francisco. He has a long form birth certificate. Our comrade Governor Jerry Brown will vouge for us.

NewsReal will continue to follow this story as developments…develop.

Fingers hosts The Snark Factor Radio Program on FTR Radio. His website can be found at FingersMalloy.com. Follow Fingers on Twitter here.

Tags: , , , , , ,

The Snark Factor And WikiLeaks–Day Two

Posted on December 1st, 2010 by Fingers Malloy

I have continued to pour over all 250,000 cables released by WikiLeaks.

For those of you that missed it, here is part of my post from yesterday revealing some shocking secrets obtained on the WikiLeaks website.

The Snark Factor has gone over all 250,000 cables for you, our faithful readers. I personally have read 140,000 cables. During that time, I consumed 3 Five Hour Energy shots, 7 pots of coffee and enough crystal meth to kill four mules.

But it was worth it. I have uncovered new information from WikiLinks about secrets that the United States government has tried to hide for decades. Prepare to be shocked.

  1. I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter was invented by the CIA as a mind control chemical agent to make Americans like Ryan Seacrest.
  2. Meghan McCain is a FemBot built by the National Organization for Women to make real blondes “look smarter” when compaired to the dim-witted McCain.
  3. President Barack Obama was briefly the lead singer of the left-wing, post-punk British rock group Scritti Politti.

24 hour later, I can now announce new WikiLeaks discoveries found exclusively by The Snark Factor. Hide the women and children!

  1. James Carville is the spawn of Henry Waxman and Susan Boyle.
  2. Barack Obama’s spiritual leader, Reverend Jeremiah Wright of the Trinity United Church of Christ  is Jewish.
  3. Soylent Green is made from people.
  4. Bill Maher is a comedian.
  5. In 1968, Sonny Bono killed 3 KGB agents with nothing but a spatula and three knock-knock jokes.
  6. Dick Cheney is not made of human flesh and bone, but of a substance called Keblar invented by Dow Chemical.
  7. Fidel Castro wrote seven episodes of Little House on the Prairie.
  8. Nancy Pelosi once played Seven Minutes in Heaven with Ted Kennedy.
  9. Nancy Pelosi once vomited after playing Seven Minutes in Heaven with Ted Kennedy.
  10. John McCain spent three days as the tenth member of the New York City hip hop group Wu-Tang Clan.

The Snark Factor will continue to update you on WikiLeaks leaks until I get bored.

Tags: , , , , ,

Liz Cheney is the New Frontrunner in 2012, Thanks to My Endorsement in the NY Times.

Posted on September 28th, 2009 by Fingers Malloy

Cheney2012

Today the political landscape changed in Washington DC. Many pundits on both sides of the political spectrum were shocked by Liz Cheney’s immediate spike in recent polls. Why the sudden love for Liz Cheney? It can be tracked to this quote in the NY Times.

“The future of the Cheney message,” added a conservative blogger who goes by the name of Fingers Malloy (a rare man in this crowd, and even rarer, one with a Mohawk). He also called her “one of the fresh faces of our movement.”

Reaction to the endorsement was swift. James Carville said;

“I can’t believe Malloy is in her camp. What does this do to other conservative candidates?  Well let’s just say they should give her the damn nomination right now.”*

Paul Begalla is worried about how this will change voter turnout in 2012.

“Clearly Fingers is the voice of his generation,” said Begalla. “ We thought President Obama was the voice of youth, clearly we were wrong.”*

Ann Coulter was shocked.

“I thought I was the woman that Malloy admired most. I don’t know what to believe in anymore.”*

The endorsement even rocked Hollywood. Speaking of the quote in the Times, Kathy Griffin said;

“I’m busy sucking the life out of America. Go find someone with less talent than me to speak with, if that’s possible.”*

There has been no reaction yet from Cheney’s camp. But word has spread that 2 cases of champagne was sent to her office, along with balloons and streamers.

 *Warning! Quotes may not be real… Malloy has a vivid imagination….

To read the entire article click here.

And a special thanks to Smart Girl Politics. It was their Smart Girl Summit that made all of this possible. You ladies rock!

Smart Girl Politics

Tags: , , , ,