Earlier today, a heavily armed leftist nut-job by the name of James Jay Lee stormed the Discovery Channel Communications building in Maryland. He was motivated by his hatred for human population growth and babies that kill Mother Earth.

Hopped up on Al Gore lies and Sanka, he had a list of demands that he wanted met before he would release any hostages. For the entire text of his demands, click here.

The situation is now under control after police shot Lee. No word yet if he decided to not have the bullets removed–and relieve Mother Earth of the burden of his existence.

As you know, The Snark Factor is never satisfied unless we do our own research. I discovered six of Lee’s demands not reported by any other media outlet. This is the kind of  journalistic excellence that has not been seen since the Teapot Dome Scandal.

The Lee 6–in his own words.

1- Bring back Crystal Pepsi. I loved drinking it with slow gin.

2- I want an autographed picture of Menudo. The original lineup, NO TRICKS!

3- I want a Toyota Prius filled with the following items; 6 copies of An Inconvenient Truth, Keith Olbermann’s hair brush and a ball cap that was worn by Michael Moore.

4- I want my own show on MSNBC. In fact, give me Ed Schultz’s time slot. I also want his bucket of crazy.

5- I specifically want the 15 minutes of fame owned by D.C Douglas, minus the vinegar scent.

6- I want a beer summit with President Obama at the White House. The guest list will include Kathy Griffin, Dustin Diamond, the ghost of Gary Coleman, Carrot Top, Linda Lavin, John Cusack, Joan Cusack and Snookie.

The Democrats are determined to pass their version of health care reform in the face of tremendous opposition from the American people.  Today’s poll is inspired by Congressional Democrats and the Obama Administration. Why? Because this poll gives you many terrible options and after it is done you will be left with a feeling of confusion and a sense that something was taken from you.

* Reminder, the name of the website is The Snark Factor…

As has been widely reported, Senator Jim Bunning has used Senate rules to hold up a 10 billion dollar extension of unemployment benefits. Bunning stated that this action was taken to enforce a law that mandates all spending bills passed are also to be paid for, which this bill is not.

The mainstream media has misreported this issue from the beginning. It has accused Bunning of using the filibuster (1 Senator can’t filibuster) and has under-reported the PAYGO issue.

So the Snark Factor examines how the press is treating Bunning, and determines how others would be treated by comparison in today’s mainstream media.

1. Charlie Rangel vs. Bunning- Sure Charlie is a tax cheat that also happens to be the Chairman of the House Committee on Ways and Means. But he’s a good Democrat. Oh and by the way, Bunning hates poor people.

WINNER- Rangel

2. The Octomom vs. Bunning- Yes she can be annoying. Yes she has lots of kids and she is getting government assistance until she scores a photo shoot in Swank Magazine, but she doesn’t hate the poor like Jim Bunning.

WINNER- Octy (my pet name for her)

3. Dustin Diamond vs. Bunning - Sure he can be half a cup of obnoxious. Anyone who has watched Celebrity Fit Club knows what I am talking about. But as a teenager he was Screech on the popular teen TV show Saved By the Bell. While Diamond was Screech on TV, Bunning was busy starving children.

WINNER- Diamond

4. Adolph Hitler vs. Bunning- Sure he murdered 6 million Jews and caused the destruction of much of Europe, but that was 70 years ago. Meanwhile, Jim Bunning hates you. Yes you!

WINNER- Hitler

5. Joseph Stalin vs. Bunning- Stalin was responsible for the death of millions of his own people, but we have no proof that he hated them as they died. There is concrete proof that Bunning hates the poor, especially poor children.

Winner- Stalin

6. Ronald Reagan vs. Bunning- This is a tough one. As you know from listening to the MSM, Reagan is responsible for AIDS. He also hated poor people and he was a racist. But he has been out of office for over 20 years. Meanwhile, Bunning wishes that all poor people had AIDS.

WINNER- PUSH

*Calm down, it’s satire people…

More bad news for Harry. A new poll conducted in Nevada shows that if the election were to be held today, Harry would get his clock cleaned (unless a tea party candidate runs as an independent, hope you 3rd party people are taking notes.)

The Snark Factor feels bad for Harry, so we have advice for him to make this election a little bit closer. Here are 6 things Senator Reid can do to make this  Senate race a nail biter.

1. Invite President Obama to campaign for his opponent.

2. Invite Vice President Biden to his house on Election Day (as many of you know, the Snark Factor revealed last week that Joe Biden is Batman.)

3. Move the Octomom to Nevada and have all of her kids and cats register to vote as Democrats.

4. Use voter intimidation, by threatening to screen at every polling place a “Matt Damon Movie Marathon.”

5. Make Dustin Diamond his campaign manager.

6. Promise Reid voters that Charlie Rangel will do their taxes.

But he drove a pickup truck? He was supposed to be a conservative? He’s a RINO!!!

Please.

I am on a mission to ban the acronym RINO. It starts today.

They are all Republicans. There are different types of Republicans. For example, Scott Brown is a Massachusetts Republican. If conservatives put their faith in a Massachusetts Republican they might as well get familiar with Battered Wife Syndrome. By the way if you are a conservative, J.D. Hayworth will disappoint you too.

Of course there are different types of conservatives. I am a fiscal conservative and a social moderate. Does that mean I am a CINO? Is there a litmus test for conservatism? Who is the ultimate judge? Can it be Dustin Diamond?

The same question can be asked to those who yell RINO at Scott Brown. What’s your litmus test for a “true Republican?” Quite frankly, I don’t even know what it means to be a Republican anymore.

As conservatives we need to look at the Republican Party as a vehicle that we can use to get our policy initiatives implemented. We need to flood the party with conservatives, but never identify ourselves as Republicans. Why? Quite frankly the Republican Party can not be trusted.

Thanks Mr. Brown, nice truck…

Stunning political pundits today, President Obama announced that he rejected all four plans submitted to him regarding raising troop levels in Afghanistan. The President then went on to make an announcement that shook the Pentagon to its core.

“This morning, I made a decision to not send more troops to Afghanistan, ” Obama said. “The plans that were submitted looked no different to me than the failed policies that were implemented under the Bush Administration. “

Then he dropped the bombshell.

“I knew that I needed to come up with a plan all by myself. Let’s face it, I am the most brilliant man to ever hold this office. It’s up to me. It’s Obama time!”

“So I am pleased to announce that in lieu of sending more troops to Afghanistan, I am sending Lou Dobbs. He will be armed with nothing but a pocket knife and a bottle of Dewar’s. The richness of Lou’s life experience working for a network that drove millions of viewers away, and his immense hatred of people illegally crossing borders will make him the perfect man to patrol the Pakistan-Afghani border.”

Dobbs resigned from CNN on Wednesday. Immediately, there was speculation that he would run for the Senate. I tried to contact a CNN spokesman for comment, but my emails were unanswered. However, I did talk to CNN’s Larry King, who had this to say about the shocking news;

” I want my Ovaltine,” King said. “Waco, Texas hello! Caller? Caller? Ehh, next week we have some fantastic guests. Joy Baher, Dustin Diamond and Kathy Griffin. Wow, what a week!”

Bold statement Larry……