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There are now reports that Al and Tipper Gore’s marriage fell apart because Al was having an affair.

From The Star:

Al Gore‘s split from wife Tipper after 40 years of marriage was a shock to everyone who thought theirs was the ideal marriage. Now Star can exclusively reveal that the former Vice President was having an affair with Larry David‘s ex-wife — for the past two years!

In the June 28 issue of Star, on sale Wednesday, we report that Al and Tipper’s breakup didn’t come as much of a surprise to one Hollywood player — Laurie David. Star has learned that Al has been having an affair with Laurie, who divorced Seinfeld creator and Curb Your Enthusiasm star Larry David in 2007 amidst reports she was cheating with the caretaker of their Martha’s Vineyard summer home.

“Al and Laurie went from friends to lovers,” an insider tells Star. “It couldn’t be avoided.”

I consider The Star a more credible source for news than The New York Times, so this must be true.

However, there are now rumblings that Nikki Haley’s faux boy toy Will Folks also had an affair with Al. I have text messages to prove it.

—— SMS ——

From: Al Gore

To: Will Folks

Sent: May 14, 2010 09:23 AM

Will, I want to put you in my lock-box.*

—— SMS ——

From: Al Gore

To: Will Folks

Sent: May 14, 2010 10:23 AM

Will, the planet may be getting warmer, but it will never get as hot as you in those Zubaz pants I got you for Christmas.*

Shocking accusations, so shocking that I am probably making them up. I will continue to follow this story until I need a nap.

*Warning, in a rush to get the story first I may have made the Will Folks stuff up. In other words, I made it up…

Snark Factor Exclusive!

All the religious leaders in the Global Warming religion were shocked today to learn that the University of East Anglia Climatic Research Unit receives 100 percent of  its funding from Halliburton.

Hackers succeeded in retrieving emails from Dick Cheney’s Hotmail account. The most stunning of the emails had Cheney writing:

I don’t give a damn if the earth isn’t warming anymore. Get those damn fools from Anglia to manipulate the data. Nobody from the media will care.

I have solar panels and windmills to sell to all the stupid warmers down there on earth. I need  another big screen TV for the Death Star.

Luke I am your father.

Liberals from around the country were stunned by the news. Al Gore said:

I am torn by this news. I am fine with lying about global warming and I don’t think the East Anglia emails should be taken seriously. But if Halliburton is behind all of this, we need to have a full investigation into Halliburton and the Death Star. I’m sure that damn Death Star is probably run on nuclear power.

Hearing the news, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger said:

Awa la ta fala la tas wahan Maria Shriva dat whana.

Strong words from Governor Schwarzenegger. I will keep reporting on this story until I need a nap…