Rumors spread rampant over the Internet today that American Idol may not name its winner based on a public vote, but instead a winner may be picked (or “deemed”) by Simon Cowell.

This power grab by Cowell has been called the “Slaughter Solution,”  named after the craptastic 80’s hair band Slaughter. Fans reacted immediately; American Idol fan John Francis told the Snark Factor:

This is bulls**t. Who does Cowell think he is? This is a democracy, he wants to be a dictator. Wait, what’s The Snark Factor?

The Fox Network had no comment on the Idol controversy. When I find out more I will update this site immediately.

*UPDATE!!! 

Apparently I have been duped. The person I talked to got American Idol mixed up with ObamaCare. There will, I repeat, there WILL be a vote to determine the winner of American Idol. I contacted Idol fan John Francis and told him the good news. He said:

Wow, I was scared there for a minute that my rights were being taken away. I’m glad it’s just health care and not Idol. I knew deep down Simon wouldn’t let me down.

Rep. Eric Massa was on Glenn Beck’s TV show today and made even more wild accusations regarding White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel’s recent behavior. Nobody at The Snark Factor was watching, but we believe these were the 6 most shocking statements made during the Glenn Beck show by Rep. Massa.

1. Rahm taped the 2008 World Series without the express written consent of Major League Baseball.

2. Emanuel kidnapped the Lindbergh baby.

3. Rahm hid the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

4. Emanuel has a tramp stamp tattoo of Nancy Pelosi’s face (Massa saw it in the shower.)

5. Rahm is the President of the Mr. Belvedere fan club.

6. Emanuel owns every Spice Girls CD and once called the group “the voice of my generation.”

Serious allegations; some of which may call for a special prosecutor. I will investigate the accuracy of these charges until I take a nap.

I will let Real Clear Politics set this up.

“Rahm Emanuel is son of the devil’s spawn, Rep. Eric Massa (D-NY) said. “He is an individual who would sell his mother to get a vote. He would strap his children to the front end of a steam locomotive.”

Rep. Massa describes a confrontation with Emanuel in a shower: “I am showering, naked as a jaybird, and here comes Rahm Emanuel, not even with a towel wrapped around his tush, poking his finger in my chest, yelling at me.”

This is not the first time Rahm has appeared naked somewhere to yell obsentities at some unsuspecting rube. Luckily The Snark Factor has compiled a list of six other occasions when Emanuel came unglued in the buff.

1. In 1994, a then naked Rahm Emanuel attacked Nancy Kerrigan with a crowbar, hitting her in the knee. Jeff Gillooly, who was later charged with the crime was heard by the New York Times to say “I’m just a patsy.”

2. Naked Emanuel was seen running from the grassy knoll of Dealey Plaza on November 22, 1963. Oliver Stone documents this in his Sequal to JFK; Kennedy II, The Wrath of Kahn.

3. Cheeky Rahm was the real driver of O.J.’s Ford Bronco. He jumped from the vehicle and AC Cowlings took the wheel after Rahm spotted a GAP outlet store.

4. Randy Rahm was spotted beating Reginald Denny during the LA riots in 1992. To be fair, he was wearing a towel this time.

5. In 2009, Naked Rahm was spotted beating three teenage girls outside of the Staples Center in Los Angeles, before leaving the scene with 3 Jonas Bothers Concert tickets.

6. Randy Rahm ripped Janet Jackson’s shirt during the Super Bowl XXVIII Halftime show. CBS claimed that both Janet’s shirt ripping and Rahm not wearing a towel were ” wardrobe malfunctions.”

Will Ferrell does his best Harry Caray

H/T MMorgan73

Audio of a conference call between bloggers and Congressman Mike Pence (IN) and Congressman Jeb Hensarling (TX). The Topic is a Spending Limit Amendment to the Constitution. 

Podcast: Download

A preview of The Snark Factor with Metalbabe & the Mohawk and Los Tres Amigos. The Snark Factor airs tonight at 8PM eastern on RFC Radio. Special guest, John Hawkins of Right Wing News.

Podcast: Download

I love it when Jack gets cranky. Wait, when is he not cranky?

H/T MOXNEWS.COM

It looks like the Dems are going to go it alone on health care. This is from a story on Breitbart.com:

One senior Democratic congressional aide, speaking on condition of anonymity, said Obama “gave folks 4-6 weeks before we go it alone” without Republican support.

6 weeks huh? So the topic of tonight’s Snark Factor Poll is the magical deadline.

For the entire Breitbart article, click here.

A minor stink was raised yesterday after Joe was caught being Joe. Here is C-SPAN’s coverage of the Vice President’s announcement that he doesn’t do anything. It was the only news to come out of the Health Care Summit.

To celebrate Joe being Joe, The Snark Factor will now reveal the 6 duties of the Vice President that the general public does not know. You can thank me later.

1. He secretly replaces all the White House coffee with Folgers Crystals.

2. V.P. Biden counts Michelle Obama’s reps during her arm curl workouts.

3. Joe Biden is Batman

4. The V.P. is responsible for all prank phone calls to John McCain. Senator McCain still falls for the “Prince Albert in a Can” trick.

5. He rubs Rahm Emanuel’s belly when he gets “cranky.”

6. Biden performs dramatic readings of Meghan McCain’s tweets at the State Department.

But he drove a pickup truck? He was supposed to be a conservative? He’s a RINO!!!

Please.

I am on a mission to ban the acronym RINO. It starts today.

They are all Republicans. There are different types of Republicans. For example, Scott Brown is a Massachusetts Republican. If conservatives put their faith in a Massachusetts Republican they might as well get familiar with Battered Wife Syndrome. By the way if you are a conservative, J.D. Hayworth will disappoint you too.

Of course there are different types of conservatives. I am a fiscal conservative and a social moderate. Does that mean I am a CINO? Is there a litmus test for conservatism? Who is the ultimate judge? Can it be Dustin Diamond?

The same question can be asked to those who yell RINO at Scott Brown. What’s your litmus test for a “true Republican?” Quite frankly, I don’t even know what it means to be a Republican anymore.

As conservatives we need to look at the Republican Party as a vehicle that we can use to get our policy initiatives implemented. We need to flood the party with conservatives, but never identify ourselves as Republicans. Why? Quite frankly the Republican Party can not be trusted.

Thanks Mr. Brown, nice truck…