Originally posted on January 26th, 2009 by Fingers Malloy

You ever have government cheese? It looks gross. It smells gross. It comes in a big block, because the government can’t figure out how to slice it efficiently. It’s like Velveeta’s red headed step child(my apologies to red headed step children, and to cheese lovers for referring to Velveeta as cheese.)

We have a new liberal president. So naturally the national debate will now turn to health care. The libs want national health care and they want it now. It sounds wonderful. The government will pay for your health care. The government can do it, right? Well to get a better feel for what national health care looks like, let us look to our red headed step child to the north, Canada (my apologies to red headed step children for comparing them to Canadians.)

This is from the CBCNEWS.CA; “Despite government promises and the billions of dollars funnelled into the Canadian health-care system, the average patient waited more than 18 weeks in 2007 between seeing their family doctor and receiving the surgery or treatment they required,” said Nadeem Esmail, director of Health System Performance Studies at the Fraser Institute and co-author of the report, in a release( www.cbc.ca/health/story/2007/10/15/fraser-report.html. )”

Here are more fun facts from the Frasier Institute report(a non-partisan group.) What if you need an MRI? That’s a 10 week wait. If your doctor thinks you may have a brain tumor and sends you off for a CT scan, that’s a 5 week wait.

How would you like be a part of this conversation? “Hey Mr. Johnson, we think you may have a brain tumor. We will know more in 5 weeks, have a nice day.”

National health care is great, until you get sick.

But it’s free, the government pays for it. Well that means we all pay for it. “The average tax rate in Canada is higher than in the United States. In Canada total tax and non-tax revenue for every level of government equals about 37% of GDP, compared to the U.S. rate of 27%( www.diffen.com.)”

So long waits, rationed service and higher taxes. Sounds like a great plan! I know some will say that we can do it better. But name me anything the government does better than the private sector?

Social Security (going bankrupt.)

Medicare (soon to be bankrupt.)

Disaster relief (there are still people on roofs in New Orleans.)

Blowing up other countries (okay, they are good at that.)

There is no doubt something needs to be done about health insurance. Too many people don’t have it, and those that are insured are struggling to pay high premiums and co-pays. But there is one thing that will bring costs down, competition. And that my friends can only be possible if it stays out of government hands. The private sector can provide good health care and make better cheese.

Dear America,

Hey there chum, it’s your pal Fingers. You know I love you right? We have had some great times together. No, I don’t always agree with you. I still don’t understand why you voted for a community organizer with next to no experience to be the leader of the free world. But hey, nobody is perfect (well, almost nobody).

But this Michael Jackson thing, it needs to stop. I understand that he was the “king of pop.” I know that he meant a lot to you. But it has been two weeks now. Two weeks of turning on the TV and seeing almost non-stop coverage of the death of a man that had not done ANYTHING in years.  But yet all it took was a heart attack to turn a pariah into a national hero.  Yes a pariah, too strong of a word? Would you have felt 100% secure letting your kids stay overnight with our new national hero? MMMM probably not.

I know what some of you are saying; “Fingers, it’s just the media. It’s not the whole country.”

I agree that it is not everyone, but go log into Facebook. How many of your friends have taken the What Michael Jackson Song Are You Quiz?(On a side note, all Facebook quizzes make me want to vomit. I don’t care what kind of crayon you are, what kind of tree you should be or if you are a Ross or a Rachel.)

It’s not just Facebook, take a look at Twitter. Today two of the top 10 trending topics are Michael Jackson related. Talk to someone at work and his name still comes up. This is an intervention America, STOP IT! Stop! Stop! Stop!

This just in, he is still dead! If your last name is not Jackson and you are not one of his parents, siblings or one of his kids, it is time to let it go. While you have been mourning North Korea fired more missiles, Iran and China rolled protesters and the House of Representatives passed a large piece of garbage named Cap and Trade.

So please move on. We can do it together. I promise to watch 1 hour of America’s Got Talent in exchange for you to watch 1 hour of C-Span. Come on. It will be fun!

What a tremendous success the last few days have been. I have been simply overwhelmed by the positive feedback I have received from the thousands of people who have chosen 1 Hour Martinizing as their favorite place, for everything ever.

Let me share with you just a couple of the kind letters that I have received.

Dear 1 Hour Martinizing,

Sincerely,
Barry Barrington
Regional Director
Regional Director Incorporated

There is more, check this out.

Dear 1 Hour Martinizing,

Sincerely,
Sandy Sanderson
Governor
Where Are They Now Foundation

Thank you to Barry and Sandy, and to all of you out there for making 1 Hour Martinizing what it is today, the single most influential political and lifestyle blog man has ever known.

God bless us one and all…