There are a few new books that are either out now, or will be released soon that are authored by conservatives or Republicans. I pose this question:

As has been widely reported, Rep. Dennis Kucinich (D) Ohio switched his vote on ObamaCare after President Obama wined and dined him on an Air Force One flight to Cleveland. (For video of the evening’s events, just rent Pretty Woman)

So, The Snark Factor has learned the six things President Obama offered Kucinich to switch his vote. Warning, you will be shocked by the corruption.

1. Pledged that the Oompa Loompa Song from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory will no longer be played before Kucinich makes remarks on the House floor.

2. Offered him a one year supply of I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter.

3. Gave him an autographed picture of the cast from Saved By The Bell.

4. Put Jack Nicholson on speakerphone and had him say: “You can’t handle the truth” until Dennis started to giggle.

5. Pledged to keep abortion legal and funded by Obamacare through the 12th trimester.

6. After 3 hours, President Obama finally agreed to Kucinich’s request to “pull my finger.”

As you know, The Snark Factor is not afraid to ask the tough questions. Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-Ohio) announced today that he is voting in favor of the Democrats’ health care package. That inspired today’s poll.

The Snarky 6 is back baby! Michele Bachmann (I love her) is not big fan of the Census. From CBS News:

Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann told the Washington Times that she and her family will not be fully filling out the 2010 census forms.

Bachmann, a Republican, said her family will only be indicating the number of people in the household, because “the Constitution doesn’t require any information beyond that.”

Bachmann believes the upcoming census to be “very intricate” and “very personal” and expresses concerns about ACORN’s involvement in the data collection. The community organizing program came under scrutiny after charges of voter registration fraud during the 2008 presidential elections.

I wanted to know what all the fuss is about, so The Snark Factor staff did some research. You be the judge if any of this is the government’s business. The following are the six most intrusive questions on the Census Bureau’s survey.

1. How many Jonas Brother’s CDs do you own?

2. Do you brake for bingo?

3. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

4. Do you like movies with gladiators? (RIP Peter Graves)

5. Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?

6. Who let the dogs out?

This from the Telegraph.co.uk:

The president will refuse to make fund-raising visits during November elections to any district whose representative has not backed the bill.

A one-night presidential appearance can bring in hundreds of thousands of dollars in funds which would otherwise take months to accumulate through cold-calling by campaign volunteers.

Mr Obama’s threat came as the year-long debate over his signature domestic policy entered its final week.

Upon hearing of this latest development, Congressman Fake (D) Georgia said: “Thank God. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I would be better off announcing that I am a truther than have him campaign for me. I’m not a truther by the way, or am I???”

Representative Imadeherup (D)  Hawaii noted: “I don’t want him to come to my district, everything he touches turns to crap. I am going to campaign in front of this wax statue of Ronald Reagan. It looks real.”

This book is going to be a page turner. Karl Rove has given some great interviews in the last week. He sat down with John Hawkins of Right Wing News recently. John asked Rove about the communication strategy in the White House during the Bush years.

One of the things that has puzzled conservatives about the Bush presidency, particularly in the second term — and I’ve heard this again and again and again — is they don’t feel like there was an effective communication strategy. The general feeling was that the Left turned George Bush into a punching bag and just beat him into the ground, while the White House really didn’t do much to stop it. Can you talk about that a little bit?

Well, I do think that there are instances, particularly on the issue of Iraq’s WMDs, where the administration didn’t punch back hard enough. I talk about that at length in the book.

It’s principally my responsibility because I should have seen it for what it was, which was a corrosive dagger aimed at the heart of the Bush Administration. But I would say this: in the last two years of the term, Bush was on the receiving end of daily blows from every Democratic presidential candidate and it was impossible for me to respond to those. The Republicans were disorganized, distressed, and didn’t come to his aid while others said the President can defend himself.

But when you’re receiving daily blows like that, you can either do your job or defend yourself, but you can’t do both every single day. It’s just the way life works.

To read the entire interview, click here.

I have had a lot of people tell me that they love a bit we did with The Snark Factor Players a few months ago. They performed a dramatic reading of the text messages that got Tiger Woods in trouble. Now, this bit is in movie form…

(From time to time I like to go back into the archive and revisit an old post from back in the day. This one is about my pal, Nancy Pelosi.)

Fingersmalloy.com is a hard hitting, fact finding, truth spilling machine. It is not some kind of gossip rag like Us Weekly or the New York Times. For example, we passed on the New York Times story that reported Governor Palin’s son Trigg is actually a robot created by Exxon Mobil.

However, sometimes we like to take a day to get away from politics as usual. As many of you who have a Facebook or MySpace account know, 25 Random Things About Me is sweeping the world. Actually it can get to be pretty annoying. Every day, millions of people are tagged to look at meaningless facts about their friends and neighbors.

Today we were given a 25 Random Things About Me authored by the Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi. The person who gave us this letter wanted to remain anonymous. From now on, he or she will be referred to as Deep Throat 2, the Wrath of Kahn. We will post it below, and hope that you learn something about our Madam Speaker.

25 Random Things About Me – Nancy Pelosi

1. I am Speaker of the House.
2. I once asked George W. Bush “boxers or briefs?”
3. I count Harry Reids when I can’t sleep at night.
4. I think abortion should be legal up to the 53rd trimester.
5. I shot a man in the Reno, just to watch him die.
6. I get 500 million and 500 thousand mixed up.
7. I spend 500 million like it’s 500 thousand.
8. I love Aquanet! (Editor’s note, this was reported earlier in a Fingersmalloy.com exclusive).
9. My favorite band is Dexy’s Midnight Runner.
10. I’m watching you.
11. Yes you.
12. For years I thought Majority Whip was a dessert topping.
13. Barack Obama is my new BFF and he is like, TOTALLY a cutie.
14. I put orange marmalade on everything.
15. I brake for bingo.
16. I once played 7 minutes in heaven with Ted Kennedy.
17. I once vomited after 7 minutes in heaven with Ted Kennedy.
18. OMG! Bill Clinton just walked into my office and offered to show me his stimulus package.
19. I live in San Francisco; there is nothing funny about that.
20. I own a time share in Florida with Rush Limbaugh (shh, don’t tell anyone.)
21. I own a Hummer H3, but to make up for it I hug a tree daily.
22. For six years I had a secret crush on Dick Cheney.
23. I have 1 tattoo. It is a tramp stamp of Tip O’Neill’s face.
24. I call my husband Stedman just to piss him off.
25. I get all of my news from Fingersmalloy.com

It’s now clear that the Democrats need my help. I could have had this bill passed last year. So even though I am not a socialist, here is my advice to Speaker Pelosi that if listened to, will sway enough Democrats to vote yes for this giant crap sandwich to get it passed.

Madam Speaker, listen to me and your health care dreams will come true.

* Note, keep in mind these ideas will only work because House members never read legislation that comes up for a vote.

6 possible ways to get ObamaCare passed.

1. Tell House Democrats that they are really voting on a bill to send Rush Limbaugh to Guantanamo Bay.

2. Rename the health care bill; “The Give Representatives Pay Raises and Hookers Act of 2010.”

3. Make them believe that a yes vote will include a “Massa massage” from Rep. Eric Massa.

4. A yes voter receives a party invitation with an open bar on a flight chartered by the Speaker of the House (thanks to the U.S. military.)

5. If you vote no, Chuck Norris will not be happy.

6. A yes voter will also receive an autographed Hillary Clinton pants suit.

Speaker Pelosi, you can thank me later…

Rumors spread rampant over the Internet today that American Idol may not name its winner based on a public vote, but instead a winner may be picked (or “deemed”) by Simon Cowell.

This power grab by Cowell has been called the “Slaughter Solution,”  named after the craptastic 80′s hair band Slaughter. Fans reacted immediately; American Idol fan John Francis told the Snark Factor:

This is bulls**t. Who does Cowell think he is? This is a democracy, he wants to be a dictator. Wait, what’s The Snark Factor?

The Fox Network had no comment on the Idol controversy. When I find out more I will update this site immediately.

*UPDATE!!! 

Apparently I have been duped. The person I talked to got American Idol mixed up with ObamaCare. There will, I repeat, there WILL be a vote to determine the winner of American Idol. I contacted Idol fan John Francis and told him the good news. He said:

Wow, I was scared there for a minute that my rights were being taken away. I’m glad it’s just health care and not Idol. I knew deep down Simon wouldn’t let me down.